My Boyfriend

VIDEO CREDITS

Cinematography: Luis Zavaleta

Editing: Luis Zavaleta & Ashley S. Beroukhim

Production: Ashley S. Beroukhim

*Featuring my incredibly cute dog in her music video debut*

MUSIC CREDITS

Recording/Mixing: Sean McLaughlin at 37' Records

Production: Ashley S. Beroukhim & Sean McLaughlin

Mastering: Noah James

Bass/Keys: Braeden Myers

Guitar: Christi Landis

Drums: Arthur Stover

Vocals: Ashley S. Beroukhim

Music & Lyrics: Ashley S. Beroukhim

(In 500 Characters)

“My Boyfriend” was written for an old friend & ex-bandmate who: offended my culture, badmouthed his own friends, fought with nearly every waiter/ bartender & bouncer we were hosted by, enjoyed drunken acts of vandalism and blaming others for his fallacies.  All the while, he intelligently validated these actions by saying: "I am being mean to you, because I always feel like you want me to be your boyfriend." So to reassure him that he had nothing to fear, I wrote him a song called “My Boyfriend.”

This one's about a guy, a Florida-man (my ex-drummer to be exact) who thought I was way more into him than was actually true. I consider myself to have a good sense of people's character; and for 2 years, I cherished this guy as a close friend and trusted bandmate. When those boundaries began to blur into something more, I learned something shocking. The sweet, innocent friend I knew did not actually exist - he was made up in order to suck me into the claws of who he truly was: an inconsiderate man-child who thought that criticizing and blaming me for his shortcomings was making me fall madly in love with him (the logic is strange, I wish I had answers).

 

He offended my culture, badmouthed his own friends, fought with nearly every waiter/bartender we were served by, and somehow always disappeared when I needed help despite always expecting me to be at his beck and call (mind you, we weren't even dating). He was a narcissistic sociopath that thought both everything and nothing were his fault. All the while, he defensively validated his actions by constantly saying:

 

"I'm being mean to you, because I always feel like you want me to be your boyfriend."

 

... with what logic and what evidence he came to this conclusion, I do not know. But with that excuse, I can assure you, this did not end well.

After everything finally blew over, after writing my angry e-mail on the plane to CA, after crying in the airport clinging to a sense of betrayal, after trying to analyze how everything went so wrong so quickly... I took a step back, erased my emotional connection to the years of friendship and it all was so simple:

He was awful to me. He took advantage of our friendship.

It was not my fault.

I got him out of my system in a mere 24 hours (record-breaking) because I was no longer protecting the reputation of a blatantly hostile human being. Back in Boston a week later, "My Boyfriend" was completed in about 5 minutes with zero apologies. Every line of it is real. Every time I sing it, I either laugh or shake my head because I don't understand how I stomached such an insane relationship.

 

This song was born to make it explicitly clear to his incredibly dense skull that as much as he feared it, he was not my boyfriend, was never my boyfriend, nor will he ever be my boyfriend and I wouldn't want it any other way.

 

"My Boyfriend" is easily one of my most popular songs since we started performing it in 2017. People (myself included) have difficulty being sassy, witty or biting toward someone who, let's be honest, deserves to be shutdown. Even though we love seeing it in the movies, that doesn't mean we have the sudden cinematic courage to boldly defend ourselves in the heat of the moment. This song gives people that chance. It lets them redo and reclaim moments when they were being walked over. This song empowers people to come together and proudly shout that they will not be belittled and they will laugh in the face of anyone who tries.

Don't conform

© 2020 by AzarDay Records. All Rights Reserved.

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